Patch Notes v0.1 — Knees Nerfed, Patience Buffed

Buffs

• Patience: +15% increase after three failed attempts to fix the Wi-Fi.
• Meal Planning: Successfully used leftovers as a new dish *and* convinced the family it was intentional.
• Controller Awareness: Finally remembered where I left it… twice in a row.

Nerfs

• Reflex Speed: Downgraded after trying to catch falling coffee mug.
• Late-Night Gaming Energy: Hard cap at 10:47 PM — no exceptions.
• Hairline: Continues to retreat strategically.

Bug Fixes

• Fixed an issue where “five more minutes” lasted 45.
• Corrected a recurring dialogue loop with teenager NPC (“Did you do your homework?”).
• Reduced random spouse aggro by remembering the trash day schedule.

Loadout

• Morning coffee (dual-wielded)
• Noise-canceling headphones
• A growing appreciation for lower difficulty settings

Patch Note: Aging’s not a debuff — it’s a rebalance patch. Less speed, more strategy.